In your Shabbat bulletin you will find a list of my 30 favorite verses in the Torah. I started off with a goal of 10, but the list quickly expanded. I am happy to share with you privately what I love about each of the ones I chose. Some of them are probably obvious as to why I selected them. At least one of them may be somewhat obscure. It occurred in last week’s parsha, and it is from the book of Numbers, Chapter 13, verse 33- “There we saw the Nephilim, the sons of giants from among the Nephilim; we were like grasshoppers in our eyes and so we were in their eyes.”
Moses has sent representatives from each of the 12 tribes into Canaan to check out the land as they prepare to do battle. The report comes back (vss. 28, 31, 33) - “The people are strong and the cities are fortified and numerous...we won’t be able to do it; they are stronger than we are. It is a land that eats its inhabitants.” They further describe their opponents as physically like giants, and themselves, as grasshoppers.
You can imagine the impact on the morale of the people. Napolean famously suggested that in war, morale is to courage as ten is to one. These ten spies destroyed any possibility of self-confidence on the part of the Israelites. No faith, no confidence. Fear takes over and undermines their self-image- we were like grasshoppers in our own eyes. They needed encouragement and support, what they got was an exacerbation of dread.
Only two of the spies, Caleb and Joshua, were ready to offer any encouragement that, with God’s help, they would be successful (vss 8 & 9) But it was not enough and the people were overcome.
God is so frustrated, ready to wipe them out completely and start all over again with a new and more confident, robust generation of Israelites. Moses only saves the day with an appeal to God’s ego, that if the Egyptians hear of the Israelites perishing in the desert, it will be bad for God’s reputation. The press releases will imply that God took them out of Egyptian slavery yet was unable to sustain them in the wilderness.
God relents, but anyone who is age 20 and up is condemned to wander in the wilderness while a new generation, born in freedom, grows to have the confidence needed to move forward into the land of Israel.
How we see ourselves has a huge impact on how we navigate the challenges we inevitably face along the way. If we see
ourselves as grasshoppers, yes, that is how others will see us. It will be a self- fulfilling prophecy. What messages are we sending to our own being that may be negatively impacting our ability to succeed? As individuals and as a community, finding the right balance between realistic concern and healthy self-confidence is critical. Our self-confidence can be an inspiration to others. I’m thinking about our own capital campaign, and the incredible leadership of Art Paikowsky who rallies the fundraising team by sharing his past success. Yes I can! Yes we can! Our capital campaign committee gains strength from his strength. These are the messages we need to tell ourselves and others.
There is a balance between healthy self-confidence and arrogance. Moses is described in the Torah a the most humble man who ever lived. In this week’s Torah portion, Korach, he faces the greatest challenge of his career, as Korach and his followers essentially attack Moses’ leadership with the words, “Who made you the boss of us?” (Numbers 16:3) Korach’s arrogance causes a rift among the people and leads to the death of many. God stands behind Moses and the rebellion is quelled.
Allaya Cooks-Campbell writes about “The Subtle But Important Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance, as follows, “To build self-confidence, start by accepting yourself just as you are.” I would add, recognizing your gifts and strengths, not seeing yourself as a grasshopper. She continues, “Then, work on building your skills and knowledge so you can feel competent in what you do.” To me that means not feeling insecure and in constant need of validation. “Finally”, she writes, “surround yourself with supportive people who will help you to believe in yourself. The ability to trust yourself and empower others is one of the key differences between confidence and arrogance.”
As we study these words of Torah, may we take these lessons to heart, seeking a sense of our own self-worth- we are decidedly NOT grasshoppers, alongside an honest assessment of our strengths and our challenges, we are NOT perfect, and ultimately with deep gratitude that we have each other to lean on as we journey through the wilderness that we call life.
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